The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
