He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
