So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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