You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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