I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
