I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
