mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
