Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
