I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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