K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
