apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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