His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
