Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
