I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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