Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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