every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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