its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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