think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
