there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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