This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
