so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
