.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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