What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
