12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
