I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
