if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
