There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
