omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
