she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I party with great urgency now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
