The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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