im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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