Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
