Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
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