i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
