we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Randomize
