I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
