I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
