..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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