quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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