i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
