I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
