You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
