big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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