is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
