It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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