Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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