Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
