"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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