Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
being pregnant is like rehab
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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