I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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