The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
