it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think people are normalizing furries
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
